Easter 2011 (Part 2 of ?)

Easter 2011 (part 1 of ?)

I really wasn't prepared to color eggs this year. I just wasn't in the mood but felt guilty not doing it since 1. my kids are at an age now where they will remember holidays and traditions and 2. it's H&G's first Easter with us. So I got up the motivation to do it and pulled the eggs out of the fridge.

I opened the container and found 5 good eggs and a carton full of shells that I must have put back in after making scrambled eggs or something. Who knows around here!

Management was kind enough to head to the store but when he returned, he dropped the 2 dozen eggs he purchased and only 5 remained unbroken. So we had a total of 10 eggs to color.

But it all worked out fine in the end since HomeAudio picked out a kit that required them to take turns and lots of time. 10 was plenty!

I didn't get a picture of H&G on my camera but I did get one of her on my phone coloring one egg yellow. She enjoyed it. The other kids had fun too! Except WeeklyAd did not like the vinegar smell (hence the blanket around her nose)!! :)

Foster Care

We had another home visit today. It was another round of interviews, home tour, signing papers, etc. I didn't realize this visit would be quite so involved but the good news is that it went smoothly and we passed again.

Our foster care license is good for another year (or two) so we kind of need to decide what to do after the adoption is completed. We can close the license, keep it open w/out taking placements, or go ahead and take more placements.

I'm really torn.

We originally got licensed as foster parents so that H&G could move into our home sooner than later but since that time I really have developed such a heart for these foster children. In going through the training, talking with our social workers, and talking with other foster parents I feel such a tug to do something more.

To care for the kids that need it so desperately and to advocate for them and speak on their behalf. They need people who will fight for them and love on them and pray over them.

But it's scary too. The whole family would have to be on board and I'm not sure that they are.

But we have time to pray about it. I KNOW that right now our focus is H&G and she is definitely not ready for another placement!! We need to put all of our time and energy into her adjustment and getting her settled in as a permanent member of our family! And what an awesome focus that is right now!!!

I just wanted to post where we are right now and ask for you to pray along with me for the Lord to lead and direct us in the path that He has for us! I have no idea what our future holds (I never have) but I want to be open to His plans no matter what they are.

Random

I'm making progress on the Thank You Notes from my shower. I am so so so so bad at getting thank you's out. I think about them constantly so it's not a lack of appreciation, it's just so hard for me to sit down and actually write them. My heart is bursting with gratitude though so that keeps me motivated and like I said, I'm making progress.

I've been thinking about getting a gift for H&G's former foster family. When the adoption is final, I would like to give them something special to always remember our thankfulness for them. We wouldn't have H&G without them and I will forever be grateful for them introducing us to her, advocating for us, and caring for her as if she were their own. I think of them more as her birth-family really and don't think there will ever be an adequate enough gift to thank them.

Speaking of them, Deedee is getting married and asked if H&G would be her flower girl! Of course, I said YES! The wedding is in December and I just know it's going to be beautiful! You should see the inside of the church!!!! Oh.my.word. it's stunning!

Easter break has been so good for us so far. Great, lazy mornings! Some progress around the house. But mostly just relaxing and enjoying our time together.

Talk about late to the party - we just got our boxes of Girl Scout cookies and picked up the movie Tangled. I've never seen it but have heard it's one of Disney's best. Better late than never, we'll be having a cookie and movie party very soon.

Some downsides

The not-so-joyful moments of being a mother -

-when you stoop down under the table in the restaurant to clean up spilled ice cream and stand up again with a hair full of the puddle that was dripping off the table.

-when you have a huge battle with your son and he yells out, "I'm just hormonal, okay!"

-when you are still having that same battle 40 minutes later.

-when your baby points to your stomach and questions...ball?

-when you are in a big hurry and drop a bowl of oatmeal that proceeds to splatter all over the kitchen cabinets and floor and the rug you just took out of the dryer.

-when you let your daughter buy two drinks at the drive-thru and have no cup holders left, therefore having to hold your hot chocolate between your legs while you drive...and then you hit a bump.

-when you're trying to do what your daughter wants to do and she picks swinging...when it's absolutely freezing and windy.

And this is only in the last day and a half. :)

~Thank you all so much for your kind comments and encouragement the other day!! It really meant a lot to me and I'm so appreciative of each of you and believe you all are fabulous moms too! Truly!! I'm so thankful for your friendships!!

Now, I have to go do some stomach crunches...

2006

Those who have followed for a while may remember this...

From 2006.

Makes me so happy to see their smiling faces and happy memories.

Makes me so sad to realize how quickly time passes!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

So Many Moms

Baseball Mom: HomeAudio will be starting baseball again soon. He and Management are really excited about it! I love going to his games, sitting, and watching. It's pretty relaxing on a summer night and I love cheering him on. However, this summer we will have a little munchkin running around and I'm not sure I'll be doing much sitting at all.

Medical Mom: I don't think I need to say anything else about this one. You all got the point.

Guilty Mom: I don't know if I should feel guilty about this or not but I set my DVR to record Tori&Dean: Weddings. I like Tori Spelling and from watching her show for several years, I truly believe that if she could sit down with a true Christian, she would become one herself. She is a very fearful, insecure, sensitive, genuine person. Besides all that, I like seeing the decor for the weddings and all the details. It connects with my creative side.

Happy Mom: I am definitely a happy mom and am in love with my kids!

Connected Mom: It's always been hard to connect to WeeklyAd as she is an introvert and does not enjoy talking. Recently I've noticed that she is clamming up even more despite dealing with normal issues (new baby sister, friends at school, more responsibility with grades, etc.) in her little life. I decided to order some books for her and I to read together. I'm hoping that the alone time will not only help her feel more connected to me but will open some doors of communication too.

Attachment Mom: Spending so much time as an attachment mom with H&G forces me to really focus on her and her needs. It's been so so hard but I know it's good for her. It takes so much of my time and energy (and sanity) to be present for H&G that I have to be careful that I have the time and energy for the other two as well. I guess this is another reason for being concerned about WeeklyAd.

Thankful Mom: Oh.my.word! I have so much to be thankful for!

Consent

Our adoption worker came out yesterday for our final meeting. We signed papers to petition the court for final adoption. It was a joyous and exciting meeting and I'm just kicking myself for not taking pictures!!!! We will file the papers soon and everything should be final by the end of May.

Before our worker came over, Management and I stumbled upon this article. It was interesting to read as that is EXACTLY where we are in the process of adoption.

Basically, once parental rights are terminated, before adoption is finalized, foster children become the ward of one man (really it's an institute and this man is the superintendent). This man, William Johnson, is the one who has to give consent for any surgeries (including ear piercing, unfortunately), extenuating circumstances, or adoption. This man is basically the "father" to thousands of kids. I would imagine it is very daunting.

It's sad for me to think that my little baby is one of his kids. Really just a name to him, perhaps. But I'm also happy to think that our file could be sitting on his desk right now and could be approved tomorrow.

On so many levels I will be happy when this is all over with. Happy for us to have gained such a gorgeous girl. Happy for her to have gained a secure, loving family. Happy for a broken system to have successfully moved a child from chaos to stability in a very short time. Another success story. I'm good with that. I think. I'm still processing!

Anyway, I have a picture of this Mr. Johnson and think I'll keep it for H&G to see when she is older. This man is part of her story. He has been her legal guardian for some time now and I think she will be interested in this part of her history someday.

The article is one side of the story. Our adoption worker gave us the other side and expressed some concerns with what the article is proposing. I really don't know that I have a side. Our case has gone exceptionally quickly! Everyone on the inside keeps telling us that things don't usually work this way! It's been ridiculously smooth and for that I am so thankful!

Trusting the next couple months continue to go just as smoothly!

The Last Week

Well, as you all know, our trip to Florida did not go as planned.

When we first arrived Monday afternoon, despite WeeklyAd's fever and cough, the kids were super anxious to go swimming. I gave in. I'm glad I did because that was H&G's only time in the pool. It only lasted about 45 minutes.


The rest of the weekend looked something like this ~



Which actually, I have to say, was GREAT bonding time for me and baby!

She pretty much slept on my chest for two and a half days while HomeAudio, WeeklyAd, and I watched tv, read books, took a couple walks, and played on the computer.

Let me stop right here and make a little confession -

I got my son hooked on court tv.

Unfortunately, not good court tv.

Judge Judy court tv.
Nancy Grace.
Judge Joe Brown.
People's Court.

I'm sorry!
But seriously, how many cartoons can one mother watch?

Then again, cases of dog napping, bad landlords, and stolen jewelry over and over aren't that much better.

I digress.

We did venture out one night for dinner (which H&G still slept through) and a walk around Downtown Disney. When we were in FL. in February, WeeklyAd wanted to buy a stuffed Minnie but didn't quite have enough money. While it broke my heart to not help her out, I told her that we were coming back in April and she could save her money until then. That's what she did so, despite feeling horrible, she was anxious to go and get her Minnie.


The girls seemed to perk up just in time for us to travel home.

H&G actually got down, walked around a bit, and ate a little bit of food.


She slept most of the way on the airplane but did have a HUGE screaming during the landing. It could have been her ears but I think it was because she was startled awake and was still half asleep, wanting to stretch out, etc.


WeekyAd was well enough to go back to school on Friday. She and HomeAudio had missed four days of SAT testing so they crammed most of it into Friday and will finish up on Monday.

H&G crashed completely on Friday, hardly waking at all. She was extremely lethargic, was not eating or drinking, and her fever spiked back up. We spent most of the night at urgent care and then the ER getting some tests done. Saturday she seemed about the same but did start to really perk up around 7:00pm.

Today, Sunday, she seems even better! Her fever is still down, she's eating and drinking a lot more, and she even came close to getting a time out for having one of her "normal" screaming fits.

We even had some fun outside watching BoBo (her nickname for HomeAudio) fly a kite.


Looks like things are finally looking UP!

Grad School

Did I mention that Management has enrolled in this?

Back to school.

I'm really proud of him for starting this even though he is extremely overwhelmed already with his new job, traveling, being a good dad, etc. and was a little fearful to commit to such an enormous "project." It will take some more sacrificing on all of our parts but I think in the long run it will be so beneficial for him.

He can do most of it on-line but I believe that we, as a family, will travel to Denver for two weeks in July. I'm really excited about that possibility.

Kind of makes me think about going back to school too...many years from now when H&G is in school full-time maybe. We'll see.

Sunshine

F - florida is still
E - enjoyable even if your
V - viewing it from inside an
E - enclosed hotel
R - room.
S - Sun

I - is out today.
N - neverending palm trees

F - flowers
L - lining the streets
O - occasional naps and lots of
R - rest for all of us
I - including a nice rest from
D - dirty dishes
A - and full calendars.

Sickness is never fun but having a nice view, a break from normal life, and occasional walks in the sunshine certainly beat being sick in cold, snowy, busy Michigan!

However, we are here for the kids to participate a little bit in the conference. It's a bummer that we haven't been over there at all yet. Hopefully, tonight.

Fevers in Florida

We are back in Florida but it's not sunny. Not today anyway. And actually, I'm really glad that it wasn't. Both girls were feverish today and so being stuck in a hotel room isn't so bad when there are thunderstorms outside.

WeeklyAd seems to be perking up a bit but H&G is miserable. She's moaning and whimpering a lot and just can't seem to get comfortable. I held her on my chest most of the day and was thankful that we are here with no responsibilities instead of home rushing to school and back. Hopefully we will have a restful night with good, healing sleep.

Management spoke this morning and from what I heard, did a great job. He was excited about it so I guess that's all that matters. He has another day at the conference tomorrow and then we head home Thursday.

That's about all for now.

Babywearing

Last night I went to hear Cindy Champnella, author of The Waiting Child. She gave a lecture on attachment and strategies and had some really good things to say.

One thing that really stuck out to me was connecting the things we do to the reasons we do them in order to build trust and attachment. For example, "I brought you a sweater in case you got cold because I'm a good mother who loves you and I don't want you to be cold" or "I brought you a drink for when you are thirsty because I'm a good mother who loves you and I don't want you to be thirsty." I think this is probably more important for older children as they are learning to trust and learning to rely on the parents, but I also think it's a good thing to start with H&G in a proactive way of helping her to never doubt our love for her. Cindy said that questions start to arise pretty early with adopted children and so being proactive in helping them feel loved, secure, and having a strong foundation is key.

I was also able to ask her about H&G's clingyness here at home. It's really intense! She really seems to be fine and exhibit secure attachment when we are out and about but at home it's a totally different story. She clings to my leg, wants to be held constantly, and gets hysterical if I leave her in a room alone. I've been torn, not knowing if I should give in and just carry her everywhere and do full on babywearing or if I should gradually teach her that mommy comes back, she needs to play alone a little, and she doesn't need to be held all the time.

Cindy thinks that H&G is telling me what she needs which is extreme closeness all the time. She thinks that I should take the next year and give in to the excessiveness here at home. Holding her constantly, reassuring her, etc. She thinks that after a year then we can start teaching her some separation and learning to be alone or parallel play but if I don't put in the time this first year than it will take longer to teach this and we will have more problems later on.

I completely understand, agree, and am willing to do this. I know that H&G has had a difficult and very unsettling first year so I totally understand her behavior and am willing to do whatever I need to do to help. I just didn't know if that was the right thing so it was nice to ask a professional and get some clear guidance.

Good thing I have a few different wraps and slings and more importantly, good thing H&G is small because this could be challenging! But it will be good for her and I know it will be completely worth it!