Pictures

You never know who has the camera around here and what they might find picture worthy! It always cracks me up when I look through them and try to guess who took which picture.

Here's just an example for you.

Pictures Taken By~

HOMEAUDIO~




MANAGEMENT~


WEEKLYAD~



TARGETSHOPPER~



The winner of this round of photos is...

Clarity: Management
Creativity: Targetshopper
Color: HomeAudio
Cuteness: WeeklyAd

Wonder what I'll find in the next batch!

Thanksgiving

We had a great time celebrating Thanksgiving!


We just have so much to be thankful for this year!


Here are just a few~

Goodbye and Hello

The last week and a half has been a busy blur of emotions. As I've mentioned, H&G lights up our life and has a great personality! She loves to dance and it cracks us up that at the slightest tune she starts wiggling. I definitely will get a video of that soon!! She also is a great talker and really amazes us with her words. She turned 13 months yesterday and already says: mama, dada, baba, baby, ball, shoe, thank you, peek-a-boo, cracker, night night, bobby (Barney), nana, papa, deedee (her foster sister), puppy, bye-bye, hi, and Gabby. It honestly seems like she learns a new word everyday.


My grandma's memorial service was held last Sunday. It is just so hard to believe that she is gone. It kept hitting me in little ways throughout the week.

But she would have loved the service. It was truly a tribute to her and celebration of her life. Each grandchild (11 total) and some great grandchildren (18 +1 on the way total) wrote out memories that were shared and Claire (below in the middle) played Joyful Joyful on the piano. There was singing, celebrating, and a nice message.



There was also a beautiful video of lots of great pictures. It sure reminded me of the importance of taking lots of pictures and capturing memories for year and years to come! This is a picture of my brother and his girls which most of you have probably never seen.


I was so proud of HomeAudio who asked if he could share a speech. My mom said yes so he wrote out a page long speech, practiced it, and delivered it. It was phenomenal! Management and I were truly blown away by his message and the clarity of his words. He had great eye contact was poised and looked great in his new suit too. It was a proud moment for us both.


A little more than halfway through the memorial H&G began fussing. Management took her to the nursery where there were women babysitting the younger great-grandchildren. Of course H&G was not happy in there without me! I was sitting in the front of the auditorium and could hear her screaming all the way in the nursery. It was heartwrenching and I felt so torn. But I knew that H&G needed me. And I think that was probably the defining moment for me of the whole weekend.

The moment that I had to let go.

Just as God had given us H&G at the same time He took grandma, here we were again, leaving behind the past to walk into the future. My grandma didn't need me, H&G did. I couldn't sit there anymore so I left the service early and went to comfort my baby. Again, it hit me, the mixed feelings of saying good-bye and yet saying hello.


Letting go of one and holding on to another. Mourning a loved one and celebrating the life of a loved one all at the same time. Old and young. The reverence of the service and the chaos of the nursery. Sad and yet so happy. Disappointed and grateful. Loss and gain. Death and life.

But such joy for both!
Knowing that God has His hand on both.
One literally and one faithfully.


"You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name"
Matt Redman

Happy

In many many many ways H&G is doing GREAT! She is so healthy and happy and very very smart. She absolutely loves music! She sings and dances at the slightest sound of a beat and I already have some funny videos to share with you when I get the chance to upload them.

She also loves ME! Which is just the best thing ever! She definitely finds safety and security and love with me and I'm soaking it all in. I'm also trying to find a healthy balance because right now she has major separation anxiety. This is totally understandable considering all she's been through and the fact that she's only moved in a week ago, not to mention the many weekends that we had to separate ourselves from her again and again. I get it.

But I also don't believe it's healthy to hold her every minute of every day. She has good days and bad days. Some days she will play happily in the same room with me, others, she won't leave my lap even in I'm in her playroom with her sitting on the floor.

But we are finding a balance and taking it slowly! very slowly!

And thank goodness for this ~






Because she is enthralled with them! This gets her up and happy.

And that makes me happy!

We have 3 of them and these little creatures are our new best friends!

Coming Home

I didn't get a whole lot of pictures from the night we picked up H&G (Tuesday, November 16th) but here are a few. It was just WeeklyAd and I. Management was in California and HomeAudio was helping out a neighbor who desperately needed a "babysitter" while she did some work at home. I was torn about leaving HomeAudio but it ended up being for the best because not only did he help a neighbor, he also earned some extra money and got another dose or responsibility under his belt. AND, after seeing how much stuff H&G was coming home with, I was glad that we had the empty seat in the car. Wow!

Here I am doing some inventory of her belongings. I was sorting and the social worker was writing. There were bags of toys, books, lotions, dishes, clothes, blankets, etc. She was definitely well loved and cared for by her foster parents!


Here's the foster mom dancing and singing with H&G to her favorite song, One Love by Bob Marley. It was just so sweet and I had a very hard time not crying~


It was dark and raining when we got home. Some of her belongings stayed in the garage but H&G watched me make a couple trips carrying the rest into the house~


We are pretty much all settled now and still can't believe that she is here! Yesterday was very weird as I kept thinking that it was Sunday and she needed to go back but how wonderful it was to put her to bed here in our home!

It was even better to wake up this morning and spend another day with her!

The Gift That Keeps Giving

Management showed me these new cards for Christmas and I had to share them with you! The wood on the front is real wood. Actually it's banana bark and it is so soft and so cool!

I fell in love with them immediately!



But the best part is the message printed on the back -

"Food For The Poor started its Banana Bark program to help the destitute of the Caribbean by creating hundreds of jobs. Bark shed naturally by banana trees is gathered and handcrafted to create this beautiful Banana Bark card. Proceeds from these cards benefit the poor families who create them and provide hope for a brighter future."

To order some of your own: call 1-866-303-3877 or visit here.

She's all moved in and we are still pinching ourselves! It is such a dream come true!! I just can't tell you how much I cherish every moment with this little girl and how thankful we are that God is letting her be a part of our lives!


I know, enough about that. You really just want to see pictures. Well, the lighting isn't the greatest but here are some photos of the once Guest Room, now NURSERY!


This is a picture of her previous foster family whom she just adores! Isn't it a great family picture!? I know they miss her terribly and she frequently points to the picture and says Nana, Papa, and Deedee and smiles.







There is still a little bit of work to do in there but H&G loves it and I'm just happy that I didn't have to paint it again!

Between 6 and 8

Well, we arrived at the foster parent's home at 5:30 and were greeted by a very happy and excited little girl. She really had no clue what was going on but she sure was thrilled to see WeeklyAd and I. (Management is in CA and HomeAudio had his first "babysitting" job at the neighbors). It was just a girls' night.

So we took pictures, played, and waited for the social worker to finish her paperwork and take an inventory of the many many many many bags of clothes, books, toys, food, blankets, etc. that were being transferred along with H&G. It definitely was a memorable experience.

And while we took inventory, the foster mom put on H&G's favorite song (currently playing on my blog) and danced with her across the room. Oh.my.heart! It was precious!

I came home around 7:00, tried to organize some things, and took pictures of the new nursery to show to all of you. I hurried the kids to bed and then crashed with my computer hoping to upload all the photos and share the evening and room pics with you. And it's not working. For some reason I can't get the pictures uploaded. I'll have to try again tomorrow but I was so frustrated!

As if this day wasn't emotional enough...
highs/lows/happy/sad/elated/heartbroken/at peace/joyful/thrilled/frustrated at the stinkin' computer...

I got a call from my sister telling me that my grandma in Florida passed away. She just moved into the area to be closer to all of us and went to FL for the winter with great hopes of coming home in the Spring and enjoying great grandkid's baseball games, dance recitals, and a brand new condo. But instead the Lord called her home.

And the coroner said she died in her bed, while sleeping, between the hours of 6-8.

Seriously. While I was picking up H&G!?

My emotions are completely fried! And Management is across the country and doesn't even know yet. And can't share this incredibly happy and yet incredibly crappy day with me.

But it's not about me.

I think ultimately it's about two people who are dear to me getting new homes.

Forever homes!?

I know my grandma's new home is forever! And I know she's rejoicing! And I know H&G was rejoicing too at her new home! And I'm praying hers is forever as well.

Please pray for my mom and her sisters! And our family over the next several days.

Thanks friends!

Moving

Management and I picked up a baby gate and some plastic dishes....and my mom bought us the most adorable crib sheets and pillow....because H&G is MOVING IN!

oh.my.goodness.

I am still a big ball of emotions and can't even put it all into words yet.

I feel so excited and so happy and full of joy...

And yet so sad for the foster parents who will be spending their last night with her tonight.

And so embarrassed for the years and years that I cried and called out to the Lord when all along He knew this joyous day would come.

And so tired and exhausted from the years and years of fighting, praying, crying, researching, begging, etc.

This has been the longest and hardest 4 years of my life!

What-a-journey!

But what a happy ending...or happy beginning really!

And a giant leap forward.

Sister

I don't know who in their right mind thought a park bench on the side of a busy intersection was a good idea, but there was one there.

And Management and I were sitting on it.

He had just taken me to a dr.'s visit for a nagging cough that wouldn't go away. The diagnosis: irritation from the ventilator that I was on about two weeks before when I gave birth to WeeklyAd. And here we were, sitting on a park bench on the side of the road, as cars zipped by, killing some time before we went to the hospital to visit our tiny, new baby.

And I was crying. Hard.

As hundreds of cars drove by and several of them, stopped at the red light, looked on, I cried and cried. What a sight we must have been.

But I was sitting there at that intersection mourning something.

I was mourning a sister. A sister for my little tiny two week old girl who lay 30 miles away in an incubator.

I know it sounds crazy to be mourning a future child when you just presently had a child but that is what was on my mind and heart that day.

My grandma was very close with her sisters.
My mother was very close with her sisters.
I was very close with my sisters.

And because my baby was born 9 weeks early due to a syndrome that had very high risks for me, risks of bleeding to death which the dr. so forcefully told me he had worried about as he delivered her and could hardly get the bleeding under control, I knew there wouldn't be a sister for her.

So Management patiently listened as I mourned the sister my little WeeklyAd would never know. The relationship she would never have. The hours of playing dolls. The matching clothes and pj's. The secret sleepovers after Management and I were in bed. The inside stories. The fights over clothes and make-up. Standing up in each other's weddings. Throwing each other baby showers and the endless phone calls sharing advice. And, GASP, complaining to each other about their mother. With every tear there seemed to be another aspect of sisterhood mourned.

And today, the Lord reminded me of that time on the bench. And I wonder what in the world He was thinking back then as He watched me...

Because He knew.

8 years later, WeeklyAd would play dolls. She would sneak into a room for a secret sleepover. She would have matching clothes. And she would call a little girl "sissy." And I can't believe that for the last 5 months, as she's done all of this, it hasn't occured to me that WeeklyAd may be getting a sister!? I've been so focused on getting things done, moving ahead, bringing a baby into the family....but today this memory came flooding back and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Monday at 10:30 we will meet with a group of people to see if H&G can be transferred to our home. We will not only bring home a baby, a prayer of mine for the last several years, we may be bringing home a sister, a heartcry that I had long forgotten, but the Lord always knew!

Change of Plans

I'm a bit annoyed~

I had a lot of plans today~

1. go and see my sister's new house.
2. shop for a baby shower gift.
3. accomplish a task at my parent's house.
4. visit a friend and talk about doing a bathroom make-over.

Instead...

I'm stuck HOME because Management took the car with the carseats in it.

UGH!

Now I'm forced to~

1. dust.
2. put away laundry.
3. shop for baby shower gift tomorrow with kids who have no school.
4. accomplish task at parents' with said children.
5. re-schedule with friend.

I'm still laughing though at my little 5th grader (who's not that little really and is almost as tall as me now), HomeAudio, when he told me this story about his new crush.-see, a crush, my baby is growing up. :(

Anyway, he said, "I finally talked to her."
"oh yea" I replied, "what did you say?"
he responded, "I said, isn't math so easy? I mean, duh, of course 5 x 9 = 54!" And then with his rosy cheeks and laughing eyes he continued, "I was so embarrassed!"

Sigh. I'm not ready for crushes and girls and I'm especially not ready for girls who make my boy flustered! Oh dear! But the good news in all this is that he is willing to talk about it all with us.

BUT HE WON'T BE if any of you reading this tell him that I blogged about it so you are ALL SWORN TO SECRECY!!!

Pictures

Alright, here are some pics~

Without necklace~


With necklace~



And because I feel petty and shallow having an entire post about a picture of a shirt, I have added some new pics of H&G~

Cuddling with her birthday present, a lamb pillow pet, which she absolutely adored! She laid on it and cuddled it and wrestled it and babbled at it while we laughed and snapped pics and took delight in finding what seemed to be the perfect present for her.


And picking the lamb was intentional. If H&G joins our family we are going to give her the middle name Rae which means "ewe." We chose that name because H&G has a little lamb blanket that she is very attached to and brings along with her everytime she visits. We also chose is as it works well with her name and is a good nickname for her and rhymes with her sister's nickname Addy-J (her middle name is Jace).

Here we are leaving the mall~


Walking~

Sleeves

So...I bought a new turtleneck. I know, I know...I can imagine at this point my friend Grace is rolling her eyes at me. I'm sorry, I LOVE turtlenecks! And since I took a good portion of last winter to abstain from them, I figured it was time to go back.

So this new turtleneck is the PERFECT color! PERFECT size! PERFECT texture! It's so pretty and soft and comfortable....BUT....

it has puffy sleeves. Which some might argue is in style. And they would have a good argument since half the store was puffy sleeved turtlenecks.

And though I don't mind the puffy sleeves and am willing to look past them for the above-mentioned perfection, Management H.A.T.E.S it! He says it makes me look like a robot.

And I value what he thinks as a self proclaimed male fashionista but I don't always agree so I decided to ask the other self proclaimed fashionista that I know - WeeklyAd.

(note: normally I would just text a pic to Grace for her opinion but since it was a losing battle with the whole turtleneck thing, and my SD card is not working, I had to seek advice in-house)

And who do you think WeeklyAd sided with?

This is how the conversation went:
Me: Ad, what do you think of my new shirt?
Ad: I like it....(at this point I rose from my chair and kissed the top of her sweet, full of good taste, stylish head)...while she simultaneously added...

"except for the football sleeves!"

SIGH.